I’ll Pay You To NOT Make ‘The Hangover 3’

Earlier this week it was reported that the three stars of The Hangover franchise, will be getting paid $15 million a piece for the third (AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME IT’S THE FINAL ONE) Hangover film. But…

Why, are there 3 movies?

Was one, not enough?

So, many, commas?

Did I ever talk about my The Hangover Part 2 experience? No? Let’s share. So me two friends and I had gone to see the sequel at one of those 8:00, the night before, type showings. I knew it was going to be shit but as a cinephile and a cultural observer, I thought, why not? Like, it couldn’t be awful. So, I’m sitting there. We’re sitting there. And none of us are laughing. Here and there, a chuckle. And I think I laughed a lot at one joke BUT I was actually getting angrier as the movie went on. BUT THE ENTIRE THEATRE WAS F-CKING FARTING LAUGHING. Like, dying of laughter.

So, we leave the theatre and were hanging out in the lobby, bitching and what-not, as one of us went to the washroom or something, I can’t recall. And out comes the rest of the audience which was made up of all sorts of demographics. What did I notice a lot of? Guys in bedazzled, acid-washed type jeans. You know, those eastern-European type fellas. And they came troting out with their Oxana-named girlfriends recanting their favorite parts. Those type of guys made the 2nd movie a record-breaking sequel.

It’s just upsetting that such BROAD humor is accepted with open arms, sometimes. I mean, I witnessed a line up to get into Jack & Jill. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was real life. I do not understand. I also don’t understand the amount of their salary. It is like re-warding a child when they do something bad. And what upsets me the most is the quality of these projects. But, you know, acid wash jeans for everyone!



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