READ: Rejoice All (3) ‘Mummy’ Fans, You’re Getting Another Installment!

No sequel for us?

LOOK, at this point, I wake up every morning expecting someone to announce they’re remaking Scream. It’s bound to *happen. Like The Secret, if I keep saying it’s going to happen, it shall happen. I don’t want it to happen, but at this point I can stop it from happening. *happen is the word of the day. Tell yo kids! 

So, of course, they announced today (the collective they, the mysterious they, the they that keeps doing this) that they are making another Mummy movie. What? Who? You remember! That half-decent franchise with that person who’s name you have to IMDB to remember (nevermind it just came to me…) Brendan Fraiser. Aren’t you excited, I KNOW I AM.

Look, it’ll probably be good. It’s getting the writer who wrote Prometheus so, like, I don’t know. I actually don’t know what to say anymore. Did you hear they’re also making  Dumb & Dumber 2? Which, fine. If it’s good, you know we’ll all be there. This is HOW MUCH I care about a new Mummy movie that I am now discussing other sequels. Here’s a list of sequels I wish WOULD happen:

Hocus Pocus 2: YOU GUYS, this needs to happen. Bring all those bitches back into the game, stir that pot one more time. HOW has this NOT happened? How is a movie about 3 witches an untapped children’s franchise? Is Disney asleep? Someone go and unfreeze Walt! Imagine the cross over ideas? Hocus Buddies: The Witches & Their Little Dogs Too! 

Another Lemony Snickets: If the first one wasn’t so rushed, and properly fleshed out or orchestrated, we could’ve had a nice, decent, little franchise. And while I like the first movie, it’s a little too compact as it squeezes in the first 3 books. Make this happen! Jim Carrey isn’t that busy.

The Incredibles 2: How the FUCK this movie is still not in production bothers me too much. But you guys, remember how good and a big hit Cars 2 was? HOKAYTHANKSBYE.

I understand these are all kids movies…

Jurassic Park 4, Die Hard 5, etc… things that were actually good, memorable franchises, etc…

I apologize for this entire post.



One comment

  1. LOL I love this post. Hocus Pocus 2 would be great. Lemony Snicket was so good, just 3 books in one movie was a little much, so it wasn’t recieved well. Is The Incredibles good?? I’ve never seen it!

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