Sidebar: While at the table having dinner tonight, me, my brother, my mother and my father sat there trying to hone our vocal impersonations of Rihanna. I had declared upon seeing a teaser for an upcoming interview that I can’t grasp her speaking voice at all. It’s probably the hardest voice to do, right? Like, if we’re mocking her singing, it’s as easy as Sling Blade (dem’ deep fried potaterrrs – thank you Tina Fey!) but when she’s just talking I really can’t grasp it. I know you all care about my struggles honing my impersonation scrap book, but this shit comes in handy at parties and church events.
News broke last night that Rihanna is in “talks” to star in the upcoming Fast & Furious movie. Can this franchise give itself a former title? At least I can formally call those Twilight movies, The Twilight Saga, but there’s Fast Five, Fast & Furious, The Fast & The Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, and my personal favorite, Tokyo Drift. This is my own personal thing though.
Anyways, I’m down for this. I’d rather her not play a baddie because you KNOW they’re going to give her some accent and on top of the accent she already has this’ll be ridiculous, but if she plays a straight man I’m down. And it’s a Fast & Furious movie. This is the least offensive franchise she could infiltrate, and it totally makes sense. She’s hot as shit, the demographic for these films don’t know who Meryl Streep is – so it works. I’m also not offended by her crossing over to the acting territory. Rihanna is always compared to Beyonce – always – but she’s never able to top B, because, well, B is B and there ain’t no topping that…except when it comes to her acting. If Rihanna wants to win, she could easily top Beyonce in the acting category because, really, ANYONE could.
One day we’ll talk about Obsessed, don’t you worry.