You haven’t read enough of these yet, right? I know, I know. I’m sorry. And I didn’t think it would come to this. But it has. A few days ago I wrote about how everyone needed to relax, because how people felt about Man of Steel was tearing up my heart and my timeline. But now, I get it. I get it all. I still think everyone needs to relax, but I get it.
Let’s just get right into it: Man of Steel is a soulless piece of shit. Too far? Debatable. I haven’t felt this way about a movie since Sucker Punch, and, well, you know…
My main problem with Superman, as a character, is that he is so goddamn uninteresting and boring that you already, good movie or not, don’t care about him all that much. This is also how I feel about Captain America, the most uninteresting Avenger. THIS IS A PERSON WHO CAN’T DIE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE? You can make me care, of course, and that is attempted in Man of Steel with the numerous flashbacks and contrived death scenes, but I didn’t care. So, when this kind of character is combined with Zach Snyder who has the ability to render all of his characters into heartless goons, you get nothing but a soulless, lifeless, uninteresting, bombastic mess of a movie.
It’s not the worst movie ever. Of course not. It has it’s – very brief – moments. It’s a beautiful movie. It starts off well enough, but not well enough for me to state that the first half is better than the second half. The entire movie is a mess. I quite enjoyed the entire cast. I thought everyone was pretty good. Did I mention it was pretty? Does Zach Snyder have Instagram? He probably uses the best filters.
And then that’s about it. It’s 2 and a half hours of noise. The first Transformers movie has more heart and soul than this does, please, and you know that’s true. There is no way to justify whatever takes place in this movie. This is, quite simply, not a good movie and that’s, again, because I did not care. I had no empathy for any of these characters. ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN I HAVE A FINALE THAT IS THE NOISIEST MOST ABHORRENT AND IGNORANT FILMMAKING I HAVE SEEN IN LIKE FOREVER. And the script? What a joke. I remember not one line of dialogue from this movie. How does this evennnnn happpppppennnnn?!
Oh my God, I hated this movie.