Today In ‘I Can’t With Johnny Depp’: Him & Armie Hammer Blame Critics For Failure Of ‘The Lone Ranger’


After browsing the Urban Outfitters website to see if they’ve finally reduced that argyle fedora he’s been after (still regular price), Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer (who was not shopping the Urban Outfitters website) decided to be silly with their words.

Click here for the video, but I’m sure you’ve heard by now that last week, Armie Hammer spoke out on the failure of The Lone Ranger. He claims that the film failed because critics were after it from day one because of it’s delayed production and inflated budget. Sure? To add insult to injury, Johnny Depp decided to open his mouth and said that the critics had already written their reviews when they had heard that Bruckheimer and Verbinski were attached to project. Sure? Obviously, no one has taken these statements well because they, like the total amount of jewlery Johnny Depp wears just to grab a coffee, is ridiculous.

The first Pirates movie was a massive success. Made millions and millions of dollars and earned Depp an Oscar nomination. Critics liked that movie. So, was it, by their science, a success because critics enjoyed it? No. The 47 sequels that followed were successes in spite of the negative reviews they received. Because, more often than not, reviews don’t really matter. They help. Sure. But if the product is actually GOOD – well f-ck, it might actually do well. The Lone Ranger flopped because it sucked and no one cared. Plain and simple.

The problem here is that no one is blaming themselves. If Johnny Depp had said “Well, maybe it didn’t do well because (he takes a moment to re-wrap one of his scarves that has fallen off his neck due to overcrowding) I think audiences might be tired of my shit” I would love him again. I would be his biggest fan. I would pre-order my super-ticket for Pirates of the Carribean 16: Cabo Baby! because that’s why the movie tanked. Because audiences are tired of his shit. That’s why Dark Shadows tanked. That’s why Pirates: On Stanger Tides (if my fake title before this one confused you, this is the actual title of Pirates 4) didn’t do that well. Because PEOPLE ARE TIRED OF YOUR SHIT JOHNNY DEPP. But, as always, they are blaming someone else. And this isn’t exclusive to movie stars. Where do you think they learnt if from? Whoever green-lit this movie  probably agrees with these two nimrods.

World War Z had a similarly troubled production to The Lone Ranger yet that movie received positive reviews, word-of-mouth and did well at the box office. Because it wasn’t half bad. And people liked it.



One comment

  1. So, here you are. Another critic telling all of us what we should like. Are all people sheep? I’m not a fan of westerns and not a great fan of Depp, but I get sick and tired of critics telling me what to see. In truth I read reviews about this movie at least two months before it came out and my thoughts at the time were that the critics were out to kill the film. Congrats! you did it! You also have one less person who will ever listen to anything you say! They should have done away with all critics years ago, about the time man began to think…

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